Cozy one bedroom for rent

By K.J. Cardinal

Newly furnished, freshly painted, 1 bedroom in quiet, friendly neighborhood. Bedroom features wall-to-wall carpet, two oversized windows and high ceilings. Bathroom shared with friendly big sister and landlords love children. Free laundry 2 floors down, heat & hot water included.

OK Anna, we're holding the bedroom for you for a few more weeks, but after that we're going to have to post the above ad on CraigsList. Needless to say, we're ready for ya. You're due to arrive in six days, but your room has actually been ready for a few weeks now and the natives are beginning to get restless. Mom is hanging in there and Dad & Sammy are anxiously waiting for the big day, but can you make it sooner rather than later?

Not to be selfish, but it's just that we're really looking forward to meeting you. We've been spending the last nine months thinking about you nonstop and preparing for your arrival, so it's probably no surprise that we're so excited for you to grace us with your presence.

To be quite honest, there are plenty of reasons for you to arrive as soon as possible. First and foremost, your mother could use the weight lifted of her shoulders...or in this case, her belly. Secondly, your soon-to-be favorite baseball team is in the middle of a tight race to clinch the AL East, Tom Brady is poised to crush the Bengals on Monday night and Meme & Papa have a few days off from work.

So, as you can see, it's probably in your best interest to begin the journey South. There are a lot of reasons to visit and a lot of people waiting for you. We hope to see you soon.