By K.J. Cardinal
In a post I did a while back entitled "Cereal: Day 2", I referenced a "wonderful little quip" that my Dad sometimes says, "it was like shoveling shit against the tide." Very fitting for the occasion.
Anyway, from that day on, I began compiling a list of all the wonderful little quips that my Dad has said throughout my life and figured that I really needed to dedicate a post to these sayings, which from here on out I will refer to as "KIMisms". I know that you may have heard some of these KIMisms before, so I'm not saying my Dad made all of these up himself, but rather that he has perfected the use of them and seems to have a bottomless vault of these in his arsenal that he can pull out at anytime.
So without further ado, here are a list of KIMisms - beware they are unedited in my attempt to "keep it real":
- It's like shoveling shit against the tide.
- The only good cat is a dead cat.
- Wound up tighter than an eight-day clock.
- Busier than a one-armed paper hanger.
- It's like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.
- You'll shit too if you eat regular.
- I made out like a bandit.
- Just like a limp dick, can't beat it.
- I'm double-oh H (out of here).
- Dropped your watch (he says this when you're hands are full carrying a bunch of things)
- Neater than a beater.
- Shit-can it.
- Wound for sound.
- That's slick as shit.
I'm sure there are plenty that I'm forgetting, so if you know of a KIMism that I'm missing, please post it in a comment. Also, I have to thank Tiffany and Katie for their help in coming up with this list...they had some doozies I was forgetting.